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AMC
Mediwizard

1710 Posts

Posted - 07/28/2007 :  22:47:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You know, some people really get the true essence of romance.

When you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the One you're with.
Love the One you're with.


And I love you, I love you, I love you.
Like never before, like never before.

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Jokelly
Barking

USA
1509 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2007 :  20:11:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Here is a perfect summary to DH http://violet-quill.livejournal.com/329450.html A must read to be sure. Very hilarious.

Here are some of my favorites:

Apparently someone dies. Not sure who. Probably someone unattractive who doesn't get much fanfic. Oh, but George's ear also bites the big one, which is Tragic.
Awww, Moody's dead. OMG! George lost his ear! How horrible.

Meanwhile, Neville is at Hogwarts kicking *** and taking names.
Neville is just awesome!

Also, there is a very long scene in which Percy is redeemed, kicks *** and takes names, tells off the Minister, is adorable, and is almost up there with Neville and the sliced bread.
Yes, I do like Percy. I knew he'd pull through in the end. I just thought he'd die doing it.

Also, a major plot point is that Draco Malfoy is going bald.
*snickers*

Current location: Laying low at Lupin's

Edited by - Jokelly on 08/08/2007 20:14:44
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WriteThisDown
Giddy

USA
30 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2007 :  21:29:49  Show Profile  Visit WriteThisDown's Homepage  Reply with Quote
These are all priceless and hilarious - absolutely made my day!

I'm sort of frightened to have a look at any H/Hr site. Yes, I rooted for Ron and Hermione from day one, but honestly, there's no bias when I say some H/Hr's can be a bit... touched in the head, to be nice ;)

And I don't know what you all find funny about lighting an eternal candle for Snape. I'm off to buy my sacred oils to anoint seven green candles with...




....:D sorry, I couldn't help myself. That site is RIDICULOUS.

Perfectly good opportunities may be wasted on selfish whims, even if those whims are subconscious.

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Cour_Delafleur
Confunded

Canada
714 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2007 :  22:16:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
On Facebook hundreds of groups have popped up, most of them immediately after the release. The most popular is "NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH: Mrs Weasley Appreciation Group", which has about 100,000 members. My favourite is "Neville Longbottom is a BAMF" (I can't say what BAMF means, but use your imagination. The first word is Bad and the third is Mother, if that helps). The group description has a lot of Neville jokes and Neville quotes. Here are some of the jokes (cleaned up)

Chuck Norris's boggart is Neville Longbottom

If Grindlewald and Voldemort were in a fight, Neville would win

Ozzy Osbourned bites the heads off bats. Neville Longbottom bites the heads of hippogriffs

Neville is one-eigth centaur. This has nothing to do with blood-line; he once ate an entire centaur

Neville Longbottom sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled bad-a.. wizarding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Neville Expelliarmused the devil's butt and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play Exploding Snap every second Wednesday of the month.

When Harry and Ginny's children were conceived, Ginny was thinking of Neville. So was Harry.

The Sorting Hat is no longer used at Hogwarts; students are sorted based on how long it takes them to cry in the presence of Neville Longbottom.

Harry's chest tatoo isn't a Hungarian Horntail, it's a portrait of Neville.

Bellatrix never actually tortured Neville's parents. She just threatened to kill their son and they laughed themselves into insanity.

Even though it was difficult getting four dragons for the Triwizard Tournament, the officials decided it was safer than the original plan of using Neville.

Neville Longbottom is the reason that the Cauldron is Leaky.

Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.

If you're looking for Neville on the Marauder's map, he's labeled "BAMF."

Neville became Head Boy AND Girl. No one dared comment.

"I think she's magic," said Nor.
________"You, you think everything's magic," Manek said. "Stupid girl."
____"Well, everything is," said Nor. - Wicked

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Edited by - Cour_Delafleur on 08/12/2007 19:42:54
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Bee
Mediwizard

846 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2007 :  23:15:36  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lol, those Neville jokes are hilarious! As is the DH summary:

quote:
All of that was in the first 300 pages of the book and the remaining 400 are the epilogue, which may be written in crayon, and may or may not have been uploaded by JKR onto fanfiction.net many years ago.


I'm sorry, I loved DH, but: hee.

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Purveyor of Fine Peebles
Haggy is (probably not) Cactus!
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she-dog
Addled

213 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2007 :  15:22:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
ROFL I can't believe this is the first time I've looked at this topic.

Me and the only guy I know that has read the book already (lazy friends!) were talking about how Neville must've scored with every girl in Hogwarts after that battle. He said there must've been a line at the entrance to the room of requirement like the lines in front of rock star dressing rooms, with Neville poking his head out every once in a while to show one girl out and let in the next.
Did Herbology suddenly become the sexiest subject at Hogwarts?

Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?

Edited by - she-dog on 08/12/2007 15:26:32
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AMC
Mediwizard

1710 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2007 :  15:46:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Well I have to say - after seeing OotP I think the producers did a spectacular job casting Neville. How could they know that the pudgy geek they cast at 11 would morph into Mr. Tall and Handsome by 18? Not that he's super-handsome but he's become MUCH better looking and far more the heroic type as he has aged which will work well with filming books 6 and 7.


And I love you, I love you, I love you.
Like never before, like never before.

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Jokelly
Barking

USA
1509 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2007 :  18:06:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Movie Neville is pretty hunky looking now, isn't he in the interviews. But will they continue to geek him up for the two final movies.

Shedog, you're so funny. I can just picture it. I wrote this on some other thread, can't remember which, but I really hope they keep one of the final scenes where Harry glances over and sees Neville eating with the sword beside his plate and the fangirls surrounding him. That's just perfect! I can imagine it so clearly in my head. So many people were putting him with Luna, but after DH I just can't imagine it, but then I had trouble imagining the pairing before DH. Neville is really someone who needs to play the field awhile before settling down, and after the final battle I don't think he'd have any trouble finding candidates like Shedog said.

Current location: Laying low at Lupin's

Edited by - Jokelly on 08/12/2007 18:08:13
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Cour_Delafleur
Confunded

Canada
714 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2007 :  19:50:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Some new Neville jokes from the group:

Merlin got an Order of Neville, third class

Neville's patronus is Neville, because nothing else is bada** enough to scare him

Even phoenix tears won't cure wounds inflicted by Neville Longbottom

Neville Longbottom created the Department of Mysteries when he got bored with making every damn discovery

Neville Longbottom is what's beyond the veil

They were going to release a Neville Longbottom edition of clue but the answer always turned out to be "Neville Longbottom, in the courtyard with a sword."'

They said Dumbledore was the only man Voldemort was afraid of. They lied.

King Leonidas and the 300 were Neville Longbottom's b*****

Thestrals can only see Neville Longbottom if they've witnessed someone dying

Muggles don't know about Lord Voldemort, but they do know about Neville Longbottom

Neville uses Nagini's blood as soy sauce

"I think she's magic," said Nor.
________"You, you think everything's magic," Manek said. "Stupid girl."
____"Well, everything is," said Nor. - Wicked

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Edited by - Cour_Delafleur on 08/12/2007 19:50:52
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she-dog
Addled

213 Posts

Posted - 08/16/2007 :  07:27:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A couple of serious thoughts:

So Snape was already set to kill Dumbledore before he made that pact with Petunia. I was sure that he had no idea what Draco's mission was and god trapped into the unbreakable vow while trying to find that out.

Turns out that Harry and Voldemort were related after all. Funny.

Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?
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Bee
Mediwizard

846 Posts

Posted - 08/16/2007 :  20:01:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The idea of Snape making a pact with Petunia is not really a serious thought.

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Purveyor of Fine Peebles
Haggy is (probably not) Cactus!
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msulizzy11
Addled

USA
55 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  17:09:28  Show Profile  Click to see msulizzy11's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
I belong to both those Facebook groups!!!

I'm in the process of re-reading DH and I'm not as hyped up on adrenaline and caffeine this time so I'm seeing it with fresh eyes - plus not crying so much. I really didn't like that Harry fought w. Remus at all. JK was like, "Oh but he deserved it. It was the right thing to do." I'm sorry, that's just BS. I didn't recognize Lupin as a character and I'm ticked that their deaths were just in passing. It seemed like they just turned up dead at the end and we have no idea what happened. Now Fred's...well...I'm never speaking to JKR again. We're sooo fighting. His death was wholly unnecessary. You do NOT mess with the Weasley family!! Plus he had a wall fall on him! It wasn't even a good death!

Everyone critizies the fanfic feel to the end bits, but I have to say I really don't mind. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I would have been upset if one of the Trio actually died, or they all lost their magic or something weird like that. So JKR at least gets a thumbs up for not being stupid in that regard.

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Fred Weasley We Salute You

"Not since George Bush decided to invade Iraq over weapons of mass destruction has the world been so engrossed with a fantasy story."
- Sydney Morning Herald July 18, 2007 Re: Harry Potter
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AMC
Mediwizard

1710 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  18:14:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by msulizzy11

I didn't recognize Lupin as a character and I'm ticked that their deaths were just in passing. It seemed like they just turned up dead at the end and we have no idea what happened. Now Fred's...well...I'm never speaking to JKR again. We're sooo fighting.

I'm sure JKR's going to be pretty upset about that!

The funny thing about your user name is I know it's MS.U but I read it "Mary Sue" so you've become Mary-Sue!Lizzy!

I need to read DH again, like now. Life's been interfering with my reading! I got one whole weekend off to read it but I had 2 years to prepare for that.

I agree about Lupin - didn't recognize him. So much so that I was quite sure he was either a. a spy or b. imperioused from the way he behaved the first half of the book.


And I love you, I love you, I love you.
Like never before, like never before.

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Jokelly
Barking

USA
1509 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  19:26:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am numb about Lupin. This book was horrible for him, and not because he was murdered. He was just poorly written, period. Normally, I don't criticize her plot and characters because ultimately it's her story and vision. But Remus was just...he was Remus but a poor version of him. It was my biggest pet peeve of the book. I recognize his feelings about a baby and worries about Tonks and the war, but it could have been handled much better. Even in passing. It's almost like she had more written then went back and edited most of it out and because she's too close to the story didn't get that it wasn't jiving with the Lupin we all know. There was a lack of continuity from the other books. I was like AMC thinking he was the spy and/or imperiused. I really believed he was the one leaking information about Order business and not Dung. Only right before they died and he was showing off pictures of the baby did I think he'd finally returned to the old Remus. I just wish there had been less of the never-ending campout and more of the final battle. I would have rather seen an abreviated version of the MoM scene and sees more of Hogwarts.

I like to read some fanfic and before DH, Lupin/Tonks was my favorite, but I just can't even think about reading anything about them. It's almost like in my mind they never existed in the story.

Okay, I really need a new signature! Somebody help. I can't be laying low at Lupins anymore...they're all dead. And being surrounded by dead people isn't that interesting. That's why people don't live in graveyards. Maybe I'll steal one of the Neville jokes.

Current location: Laying low at Lupin's
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AMC
Mediwizard

1710 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  21:13:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Jo... you can hang out at pre-DH!Lupin's. That's the nice thing about fiction - you can return to the past any time you want.

*Hands Jo some chocolate* Here, eat this - it helps.


And I love you, I love you, I love you.
Like never before, like never before.

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msulizzy11
Addled

USA
55 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  15:57:52  Show Profile  Click to see msulizzy11's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
The Fred Weasley We Salute You Facebook group has a bunch of comics on it (from someone on deviantart I think) and one of them is Fred arguing with God about death and he didn't read DH so therefore he doesn't believe he's dead, thus he isn't. It's one of those Descartes "I think therefore I am" existentalism deals.

I quite agree with it. I'm just going to skip the page where Fred "dies" from now on.

Lupin could still be totally normal. Just ignore him when you read DH. He just wasn't in it. He was in Australia with Hermione's parents. No, better yet he was laying low at your house! How 'bout that?!

I think someone should write some fanfic about JKR where she's all out of character and dies and see how she likes it!!

I'm trying to link to that photo and it's not working Here it is in plain text: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/60592054/?qo=46&q=fred+and+george&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5

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Fred Weasley We Salute You

"Not since George Bush decided to invade Iraq over weapons of mass destruction has the world been so engrossed with a fantasy story."
- Sydney Morning Herald July 18, 2007 Re: Harry Potter

Edited by - msulizzy11 on 08/18/2007 16:01:41
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U-No-Poo
Addled

133 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  13:38:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AMC
I agree about Lupin - didn't recognize him. So much so that I was quite sure he was either a. a spy or b. imperioused from the way he behaved the first half of the book.


I thought that the Lupin that returned from the Seven Potters battle was Snape in disguise. So I was much relieved when to find out that he was just a cowardly idiot. Except that he wasn't.
We've seen it happen to all the main characters: extreme situations pushing them to levels of cruelty, selfishness and stupidity that have nothing to do with what they're really like. It was just Lupin's turn, and his was a very bad case, but he redeemed himself right after Harry scolded him. The person we saw before that wasn't the real Lupin, but one pushed to near-insanity by desesperation.

Loving the Neville jokes!

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Starling
Confunded

United Kingdom
701 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  14:18:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
I quite agree with it. I'm just going to skip the page where Fred "dies" from now on.


I remember Steve VanderArk saying at Accio "if you don't want Sirius to die, just don't read further than GoF, it's that simple".

I wuv multicoloured werewolf puppies.
"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/20/2007 :  12:18:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I didn't understand how Remus could think lycanthropy could be inherited by the baby, though. The only detail about it that I remember is that the blood is infected/cursed in a victim of a bite. Well, Remus's blood never mixed with the baby's, so how could the baby be a werewolf? Now if somehow genetics were involved in the curse....

Deliberatley causing mayhem in Snape's Potions class.
Member of the HPEW & HPCS Appreciation Society
s.i.n.e. qua non
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Starling
Confunded

United Kingdom
701 Posts

Posted - 08/20/2007 :  13:19:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Well, judging by what being a werewolf is, it wouldn't be surprising if it involved genetics.

I wuv multicoloured werewolf puppies.
"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
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Unicorn8
Barmy

Germany
319 Posts

Posted - 08/20/2007 :  15:53:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jokelly

Here is a perfect summary to DH http://violet-quill.livejournal.com/329450.html A must read to be sure. Very hilarious.
*snickers*



"Also, everyone sees Harry naked. Six times. Sometimes with frilly underwear."
"A major plot point is that James and Lily had a cat. "

It also summarizes the whole Lupin business:
"There's a little bit of downtime, and Tonks gives birth to Teddy Ruxpin. And Lupin is so cute about it that even the slashers can't help but go "awww". Maybe. Just a little. But everyone forgives him for being a prat earlier because he's Lupin and everyone loves him."
Couldn't agree more with it...

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Proud Member of S.I.N.E.

"Always"

WWLLD

Edited by - Unicorn8 on 08/20/2007 15:56:48
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msulizzy11
Addled

USA
55 Posts

Posted - 08/28/2007 :  16:48:22  Show Profile  Click to see msulizzy11's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
One question:

Where in the name of Merlin's Effing Pants was Charlie Weasley?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't know why it took me this long to ask.

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Fred Weasley We Salute You

"Not since George Bush decided to invade Iraq over weapons of mass destruction has the world been so engrossed with a fantasy story."
- Sydney Morning Herald July 18, 2007 Re: Harry Potter
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sunsethill
Confunded

USA
653 Posts

Posted - 08/28/2007 :  19:29:34  Show Profile  Visit sunsethill's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by msulizzy11

One question:

Where in the name of Merlin's Effing Pants was Charlie Weasley?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't know why it took me this long to ask.


Sometimes I feel like I missed so many little things in the convoluted plot, I assumed he showed up somewhere for the final battle. Did he not? He really is the missing Weasley, isn't he?

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Member HPEW & HPCS Appreciation Society
s.i.n.e qua non
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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  00:06:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sunsethill

quote:
Originally posted by msulizzy11

One question:

Where in the name of Merlin's Effing Pants was Charlie Weasley?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't know why it took me this long to ask.


Sometimes I feel like I missed so many little things in the convoluted plot, I assumed he showed up somewhere for the final battle. Did he not? He really is the missing Weasley, isn't he?

Yeah, I really expected him to come swooping in on Norbert.

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s.i.n.e. qua non

"Always"
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Unicorn8
Barmy

Germany
319 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  07:02:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn

quote:
Originally posted by sunsethill

quote:
Originally posted by msulizzy11

One question:

Where in the name of Merlin's Effing Pants was Charlie Weasley?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't know why it took me this long to ask.


Sometimes I feel like I missed so many little things in the convoluted plot, I assumed he showed up somewhere for the final battle. Did he not? He really is the missing Weasley, isn't he?

Yeah, I really expected him to come swooping in on Norbert.



Noberta

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Proud Member of S.I.N.E.

"Always"

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Cour_Delafleur
Confunded

Canada
714 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  10:39:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
wait... Charlie was there at some point wasn't he?? How else do we know his name was Norberta? Or did Hagrid relay that information? I thought it odd he wasn't there for the final battle OR the wedding. Seriously, if Percy could show up, Charlie should certainly have made the effort.


Some more Neville jokes:

- Someone once asked Neville if he believed there was life on other planets. He replied "There used to be".

- Neville Longbottom cut of the Hog's Head. He was practicing for Nagini

- Neville is listed in "Fantasic Beasts and Where to Find Them" with a Ministry of Magic Classification XXXXXX. This classification was created specifically for Neville.

- Neville taught the Veela how to dance

- When Neville Longbottom golfs, he uses a snake for the ball, and a sword for the club.

- Hogwarts no longer teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts, they just hand out Neville Longbottom masks.

- Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley

- Neville Longbottom sectumsempra'd his way out of his mother's womb. Ever since, muggles have called this operation a "C-section"

- When Neville uses the Knight Bus, he calls himself Harry Potter to avoid all the attention

- It was once suggested that "Diagon Alley" be changed to "Longbottom Alley." The idea was almost immediately cast aside, because nobody crosses Neville Longbottom and lives

"I think she's magic," said Nor.
________"You, you think everything's magic," Manek said. "Stupid girl."
____"Well, everything is," said Nor. - Wicked

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Edited by - Cour_Delafleur on 08/29/2007 10:49:43
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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  10:44:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
He was at the wedding.

Deliberatley causing mayhem in Snape's Potions class.
Member of the HPEW & HPCS Appreciation Society
s.i.n.e. qua non
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Jokelly
Barking

USA
1509 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  12:29:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Charlie was at the final battle, too.

Current location: Laying low at Lupin's
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Cour_Delafleur
Confunded

Canada
714 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  13:16:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hmmm... I guess I was paying attention to other things when he appeared, which makes sense as both events were rather significant and Charlie is definitely the Weasley with the least amount of "page-time"

"I think she's magic," said Nor.
________"You, you think everything's magic," Manek said. "Stupid girl."
____"Well, everything is," said Nor. - Wicked

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msulizzy11
Addled

USA
55 Posts

Posted - 08/29/2007 :  14:20:26  Show Profile  Click to see msulizzy11's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
I just got done re-reading DH and I can't remember him being mentioned at the wedding OR the final battle...maybe I was speedreading too much?? He's the only Weasley child we know next to nothing about.

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Fred Weasley We Salute You

"Not since George Bush decided to invade Iraq over weapons of mass destruction has the world been so engrossed with a fantasy story."
- Sydney Morning Herald July 18, 2007 Re: Harry Potter
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