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Myf
Confunded

571 Posts

Posted - 08/05/2006 :  21:41:05  Show Profile  Visit Myf's Homepage  Click to see Myf's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn
What happened was that Myf took one look at chapter 10 and said, "No, no, this will never work!!" Of course she was absolutely right, as always, but it meant a complete rewrite from the moment the kids set foot on the train. The entire plot of the chapter had to go and a new one had to take its place.

[snip]

Which all goes to prove that a good editor, like a good mechanic, is worth their weight in gold.



Oh, I feel terrible when I do that! If I recall correctly I also did a similar thing to Theo in HPEW - almost half a chapter had me just saying 'NO' to, which ended up affecting a whole slew of chapters and scenes and plots. I wonder sometimes what HPEW would have been like without my big mouth.

The original ch10 was really fun and exciting, but it didn't seem to me to work. Hopefully Theo posts it to you guys at some point, because it's great fun to read. Maybe as an excerpt to HPCS? But I much prefer the current ch10. And chapter 11 is fantastic - it's close to being my favourite so far. And this afternoon I get to read chapter 12... Lucky me.

Theo, I'm thrilled to see that you've posted at SQ, I had no idea! I bet you'll make some Quillers very happy about that! Do you have a posting schedule for there?

If you're looking for trouble you found it.
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Eeyore
Barmy

USA
311 Posts

Posted - 08/06/2006 :  00:37:30  Show Profile  Send Eeyore a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Well, as much as I missed the chapter last Thursday, it was probably a good thing. We got back from Vegas on Sunday morning, and I'm still really tired from the trip. I either ate something or got too close to someone who had something and ended up with a rather touchy stomach for the last two days we were there, and even after I got home--which makes me think it was not just something I ate.

So, with all the sleeping I've been doing, I'll be more than ready for Chapter 10 next week.

I don't know why you all get so squeamish about Dumbledore talking about love--it's the part I've always liked. No surprise there, I know. But then, I'm the one who cries through most books and movies at least at one point if not through the whole thing. So, bring on the touchy-feely scenes.

Eeyore

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/06/2006 :  01:36:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Myf

I wonder sometimes what HPEW would have been like without my big mouth.

Not nearly as good as it is. I am absolutely serious when I say that a good editor is crucial to turning out quality writing and you are an excellent one. Never feel bad about telling me what I need to hear.

quote:
The original ch10 was really fun and exciting, but it didn't seem to me to work. Hopefully Theo posts it to you guys at some point, because it's great fun to read.

Yes, I'll be happy to post it at some point. Probably when I'm hopelessly behind in my writing and need filler.

quote:
... And chapter 11 is fantastic - it's close to being my favourite so far.

Oh that's wonderful! I didn't know that.

quote:
Theo, I'm thrilled to see that you've posted at SQ, I had no idea! I bet you'll make some Quillers very happy about that! Do you have a posting schedule for there?

I've had six reviews telling me how happy they were to see me writing again which was quite wonderful. I plan to post a chapter every two weeks there just as I am here. In fact chapter 2 just went up today.

Eeyore, I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. I hope you get better soon. And good for you standing by DD's 'love' talk. There will certainly be more of that along the way in HPCS and it's good to know that someone might actually be looking forward to it.

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Edited by - Theowyn on 08/07/2006 12:44:27
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sunsethill
Confunded

USA
653 Posts

Posted - 08/07/2006 :  14:40:53  Show Profile  Visit sunsethill's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Myf
The original ch10 was really fun and exciting, but it didn't seem to me to work. Hopefully Theo posts it to you guys at some point, because it's great fun to read. Maybe as an excerpt to HPCS?


This brings up an interesting (to me) question. Why would Theo be able to use the old Chapter 10 as filler or an outtake if it needed to be totally scrapped and replaced by new material? That sets up all sorts of possibilities, doesn't it? I'm assuming you both felt that the material derailed the story and sent it off in a poor direction. But I certainly won't turn down outtakes!

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/07/2006 :  16:07:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sunsethill

quote:
Originally posted by Myf
The original ch10 was really fun and exciting, but it didn't seem to me to work. Hopefully Theo posts it to you guys at some point, because it's great fun to read. Maybe as an excerpt to HPCS?


This brings up an interesting (to me) question. Why would Theo be able to use the old Chapter 10 as filler or an outtake if it needed to be totally scrapped and replaced by new material? That sets up all sorts of possibilities, doesn't it? I'm assuming you both felt that the material derailed the story and sent it off in a poor direction. But I certainly won't turn down outtakes!


Well, outtake probably isn't exactly the right word. More of an alternate "what might have been" moment in an alternate HPCS universe. By filler, I just meant giving you something fun to read during any future lack of available HPCS chapters.

The good news is that this probably won't happen any time soon as we've got chapters 11 and 12 beta'd with no major problems and chapter 13 is coming along smoothly.

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Myf
Confunded

571 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2006 :  18:23:58  Show Profile  Visit Myf's Homepage  Click to see Myf's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
Beside, the events of old ch10 didn't really derail the plot - it just didn't advance the plot we're still getting (as far as I know) as effectively as the new ch10 does.

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sunsethill
Confunded

USA
653 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2006 :  10:25:25  Show Profile  Visit sunsethill's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn
Well, outtake probably isn't exactly the right word. More of an alternate "what might have been" moment in an alternate HPCS universe. By filler, I just meant giving you something fun to read during any future lack of available HPCS chapters.



Ah, AU sounds more like what I thought Myf was implying in the original comment. It's nice to know that if your muse completely stalls for a while, you don't have to worry about us driving you insane for an update.

By the way, I also recced HPCS on my livejournal. Since I have a flist of about four, you should see a major uptick in traffic at SQ any time now.

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2006 :  11:56:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sunsethill

By the way, I also recced HPCS on my livejournal. Since I have a flist of about four, you should see a major uptick in traffic at SQ any time now.

Hey, I'm up to 11 reviews so you never know.

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/11/2006 :  00:23:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I just sent out chapter 10. Hope you all enjoy it.

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Eeyore
Barmy

USA
311 Posts

Posted - 08/11/2006 :  02:21:10  Show Profile  Send Eeyore a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Very good chapter, Theo. Though I must say that the end of it was a bit too timely with all the events at the airports today, and Homeland Security once again making announcements. Rather disturbing, really. (Reminds me of my recent trip to Vegas where the one TSA guy told me to take off my jacket, while the woman standing there said, "It's a shirt." But I was wearing my long sleeved shirt over a t-shirt so I took it off. That was after I'd been annoyed with him when I had to take off my sandals, leaving me in bare feet in the airport. Yuk--just thinking about all the germs made me cringe. It just wasn't worth the arguement though. And now with today's events, I can just imagine what travel will be like for a while. Too many people who aren't terribly bright with way too much authority is a scary thing, indeed. Luna's got it right, and so does Arthur.)

Once again, Luna has a way of cutting through to the truth, even while she still says the oddest things. Did you intentionally change the name of her father's paper to the name of the essay section at TLC? I hadn't remembered that, as it was Quibbler in the books, isn't it?

I loved the bit with the mirror(s) and I really hope that comes back up in canon as well. Nice one.

But those letters to Lily! Please tell me that Harry isn't going to entirely forget to go back to reading them. Now that they are all mixed up, I'm sure we'll never find out that the last one he was reading was from Severus. Harry's just not curious when it counts.

Eeyore

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sunsethill
Confunded

USA
653 Posts

Posted - 08/11/2006 :  10:06:13  Show Profile  Visit sunsethill's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Oh man, oh man, oh man. That was a great chapter, Theo. It had me on the edge of my seat. Loved the mirrors. What a great idea for their use. And I, too, noticed that the Quibbler changed its name. Luna was perfect, though. Rescuing Trevor. Nailing the Deatheater murders. And I loved this line: "Neville, it's not really polite to ask people about who they've killed."

And, of course, Harry had to get distracted just at the time he was about to find out that Snape and Lily were friends. I'm looking forward to what you do with that.

THe DPS is getting very scary, which is a perfect fit with what we know of how the wizarding world reacts to danger. Having Harry rescue Draco was wonderful and right. I know you have said that what JKR did with the Malfoys in HBP was one of the most interesting parts of the book to you and I am looking forward to seeing how you develop the Malfoys in your story.

But the interchange between Ron and Luna about the DPS is what really caught my attention.

""That's going a bit far," Ron scoffed. The DPS don't torture and kill people."
"Not that we know of," Luna agreed placidly."

You make me wonder if the DPS has a hit wizard assigned to Deatheaters and is hoping to frame Snape for the deaths. He, of course, thinks so poorly of himself that I'm not sure he would be too active in defending himself.

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/11/2006 :  11:19:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I can't believe I got the name of the Quibbler wrong! Just goes to show how much I need you guys!

I'm glad you guys enjoyed the chapter. Sunsethill, I'm particularly thrilled that it had you on the edge of your seat. What a compliment!

The DPS
It was a bit weird the way Homeland Security came up today. The DPS is probably one of the touchiest elements in HPCS precisely because it does have such a distinct parallel in RL and these are not nice people. I'm sure that Umbridge is working for them. There is a very fine balance between security and liberty and when people are afraid, that balance can falter very quickly.

quote:
Originally posted by Eeyore

Too many people who aren't terribly bright with way too much authority is a scary thing, indeed. Luna's got it right, and so does Arthur.)
This is really, well said, Eeyore! Add in a few power-hungry leaders and it's a disaster.

quote:
Originally posted by Sunsethill
You make me wonder if the DPS has a hit wizard assigned to Deatheaters and is hoping to frame Snape for the deaths.
I can't comment on hit wizards of course, but great thoughts here.

Luna
quote:
Luna was perfect, though. Rescuing Trevor. Nailing the Deatheater murders. And I loved this line: "Neville, it's not really polite to ask people about who they've killed."
Oh, I'm so happy! I think Luna in HPEW was probably my weakest character, so it's nice to see her get such a hearty 'thumbs-up' here.

The Mirror
I have to use this stupid mirror for something. It's been annoying me since the end of OotP.

The Letters
quote:
But those letters to Lily! Please tell me that Harry isn't going to entirely forget to go back to reading them. Now that they are all mixed up, I'm sure we'll never find out that the last one he was reading was from Severus. Harry's just not curious when it counts.
Well, the poor boy does have a lot on his mind, but yes, he will eventually get around to reading them and they are surely signed, so I think even Harry will manage to put 2 and 2 together at some point.

Mainly though, I'm glad to know that Severus's voice came through so well. Myf also instantly recognized that the last letter was from him. That's a releif because his voice as a student is actually a bit different from that of 'Professor Snape' and it's important that it be clearly recognizable.


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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/11/2006 :  13:22:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It was his addressing her as "Evans" that set it right from the very beginning. As soon as I saw that, I was sure the letter was from Severus-- the potions talk confirmed it.

DPS is truly scary-- in RL, too. But what is really scary is how willingly people give up their freedoms. For all the talk of not being manipulated by fear, that's exactly what is going on. I rather resent giving up my freedoms because people are quaking in their boots at the threat of something bad happening. Where do we (and they) draw the line? What is reasonable and what is overreaching?

Not for the first time, I wish I could apparate.

Edited to add:
Theo, I wanted you to know that I was much relieved to see that Harry decided to follow his instincts about what is right or just despite how odd or inexplicable his actions may seem to others. Backing off on Draco was one of the best things he's done. I don't think Draco will give him any slack or rethink his opinion of Harry for all that, but it's just nice to see that Harry isn't James. I'll bet Draco is fair puzzled about what to make of Harry's behaviour.

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2006 :  03:13:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Siobhan

Theo, I wanted you to know that I was much relieved to see that Harry decided to follow his instincts about what is right or just despite how odd or inexplicable his actions may seem to others. Backing off on Draco was one of the best things he's done. I don't think Draco will give him any slack or rethink his opinion of Harry for all that, but it's just nice to see that Harry isn't James. I'll bet Draco is fair puzzled about what to make of Harry's behaviour.
Yes, Harry definitely threw Draco for a loop. I enjoy being able to write Harry at his best. At those moments when his nobility of character asserts itself, we can really see the hero beneath all of the burdens this young man has to bear.

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Fawkes
Giddy

5 Posts

Posted - 08/13/2006 :  02:43:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Fantastic chapter! Sorry I haven't commented for a while, Theo, but I can assure you that I have been reading faithfully.

It's funny, the DPS reminds me of the Committee of Public Saftey during the French Revolution with Robespierre and all those lovely people, although hopefully it doesn't get as out of hand in HPCS.

Poor Harry, I love it how Snape can always tell when Harry is lying, no matter how well he thinks he has disguised his voice, thoughts, etc.
It was kind of weird for me at first, when they were at the train station, I was like, now why isn't Mrs. Weasley there too? And then I remembered.

Anyway though, I can't wait to see what happens next at Hogwarts!
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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/13/2006 :  15:40:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yeah, I still like the hair-brained idea that Arthur or Percy have gone off on a DE murder rampage because of what happened to Molly. Percy would be my choice. Partly because we haven't seen him yet and partly because he's got to have some redemption/closure issues to work through. The goody-goody prefect and Ministry sycophant going wacko is just too dark not to consider-- even in jest.

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/14/2006 :  11:24:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fawkes

It's funny, the DPS reminds me of the Committee of Public Saftey during the French Revolution with Robespierre and all those lovely people, although hopefully it doesn't get as out of hand in HPCS.
Hi Fawkes! Thanks for popping by. I always appreciate feedback. No, the DPS isn't quite as bad as Robespierre, but it does go to show that this is a problem societies have been struggling with for some time.

quote:
Poor Harry, I love it how Snape can always tell when Harry is lying, no matter how well he thinks he has disguised his voice, thoughts, etc.
Occlumency can only take you so far. Harry is a terrible liar and Snape knows him far too well.

quote:
It was kind of weird for me at first, when they were at the train station, I was like, now why isn't Mrs. Weasley there too? And then I remembered.
Oh dear. But at least DD's still around! And I promise that you'll be seeing much more of him very soon.

quote:
[by Siobhan]I still like the hair-brained idea that Arthur or Percy have gone off on a DE murder rampage because of what happened to Molly. Percy would be my choice. Partly because we haven't seen him yet and partly because he's got to have some redemption/closure issues to work through. The goody-goody prefect and Ministry sycophant going wacko is just too dark not to consider-- even in jest.
Lol! What a fabulous idea! But alas, Percy is not yet self-aware enough to become overwhelmed with regret and go on a vengeful killing spree.

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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/14/2006 :  12:43:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Can't you just see the wrathful redhead with burning eyes using inside information stolen from the Ministry stalking his victims then returning to his normal pretensious self by daylight?

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Theowyn
Looney

1078 Posts

Posted - 08/14/2006 :  17:06:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Siobhan

Can't you just see the wrathful redhead with burning eyes using inside information stolen from the Ministry stalking his victims then returning to his normal pretensious self by daylight?

Absolutely! I wish I'd thought of it.

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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/15/2006 :  11:03:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hmmm. I wonder if it could be a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde thing or perhaps a type of lycanthropy.....
Never mind me, I'm just rambling.

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Bee
Mediwizard

846 Posts

Posted - 08/15/2006 :  13:14:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Siobhan

Can't you just see the wrathful redhead with burning eyes using inside information stolen from the Ministry stalking his victims then returning to his normal pretensious self by daylight?



Oh, somebody PLEASE write this fic! I'll pay you! ...In peebles...

Great chapter, Theo! I really enjoyed it. I'm so glad those mirrors are finally getting some use!

It was lovely to see Neville and Luna again. I don't understand why you think you don't write Luna well. I thought she was spot-on. I especially liked how she admonished Neville for asking about Harry killing the DE.

The LETTER! ARGH! I knew you wouldn't have Harry find out it was from Snape - you're too cruel!

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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/15/2006 :  14:00:07  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Something else I've been thinking about regarding the Order and Snape's standing within it is that for all his work, he is the weakest link-- mostly due to his inability to form friendships within the group. Everyone knows how important his information has been to their activities. They can respect (some grudgingly) him for that, but they don't have any reason to like him. That Dumbledore trusts him is widely accepted, but that doesn't mean anyone else trusts him. People are more likely to trust those they like. If Severus were able to make these people his friends he would have a much easier time and fewer people jumping to conclusions regarding his "activities."

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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
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Posted - 08/24/2006 :  13:03:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn

The upshot of all this is that even though I will probably have the finished version of chapter 10 by Thursday, I would rather hold off another week and give it to you on August 10th, then wait another three weeks and give you chapter 11 on August 31st.
Thought I'd just remind everyone that the next chapter is not due out till next week.

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U-No-Poo
Addled

133 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2006 :  17:29:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just dropping in to say that I'm loving HPCS. Luna made me laugh out loud in this chapter :).
The way the mirror has been put to use here was very smart, although I hope separating the pieces of one doesn't mean Harry won't be able to communicate with the other whole one, wherever it is.
Argh! That letter!
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn

I can't believe I got the name of the Quibbler wrong! Just goes to show how much I need you guys!


Teehee, the flint made me smirk. And I've got another to point out: Ginny shouldn't be able to Apparate on her own yet!
Edit: Hmmm, so you can't type the word s n i g g e r.

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Edited by - U-No-Poo on 08/24/2006 17:33:41
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Siobhan
Chief Healer

USA
2157 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2006 :  17:46:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Nope. I rather liked the replacement word, though, in case anyone was thinking of being insulting.

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sunsethill
Confunded

USA
653 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2006 :  20:59:16  Show Profile  Visit sunsethill's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Siobhan

quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn

The upshot of all this is that even though I will probably have the finished version of chapter 10 by Thursday, I would rather hold off another week and give it to you on August 10th, then wait another three weeks and give you chapter 11 on August 31st.
Thought I'd just remind everyone that the next chapter is not due out till next week.



Oh thanks for reminding me. I was just sitting here thinking that I would have a nice new chapter waiting for me when I woke up. I would have been VERY disappointed.

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Theowyn
Looney

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Posted - 08/25/2006 :  00:01:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi everyone!

Today was the first day of school for my kids so needless to say, I've been horrendously busy this last week.
quote:
Originally posted by Bee
The LETTER! ARGH! I knew you wouldn't have Harry find out it was from Snape - you're too cruel!
Give him time. We're only on chapter 10 after all.

quote:
Originally posted by Siobhan
Something else I've been thinking about regarding the Order and Snape's standing within it is that for all his work, he is the weakest link-- mostly due to his inability to form friendships within the group. Everyone knows how important his information has been to their activities. They can respect (some grudgingly) him for that, but they don't have any reason to like him. That Dumbledore trusts him is widely accepted, but that doesn't mean anyone else trusts him. People are more likely to trust those they like. If Severus were able to make these people his friends he would have a much easier time and fewer people jumping to conclusions regarding his "activities."

True. Unfortunately, Snape hasn't the faintest idea how to do this. Remus would be inclined to meet him halfway, but Severus just doesn't 'get' friendship.

quote:
Originally posted by U-No-Poo
The way the mirror has been put to use here was very smart, although I hope separating the pieces of one doesn't mean Harry won't be able to communicate with the other whole one, wherever it is.

That wouldn't be a problem. The way I envision these mirrors, the original two were made as one piece and enchanted then cut into two. The enchantment makes it so that no matter how many pieces the mirror is broken into (2 or 5 in this case) each piece will always show exactly the same scene at any given moment.

quote:
Ginny shouldn't be able to Apparate on her own yet!

She doesn't. Here's the quote from the train station:

"Three more ‘pops’ announced the arrival of Hermione, Ron and Ginny who had Apparated with Remus."

Do I need some sort of punctuation here to make it clear that Ginny Apparated with Remus? Or maybe I should reword it to be more specific:

"Three more ‘pops’ announced the arrival of Hermione, Ron and, last of all, Ginny who had Apparated with Remus."

What do you guys think?



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Bee
Mediwizard

846 Posts

Posted - 08/25/2006 :  13:48:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Theowyn

Here's the quote from the train station:

"Three more ‘pops’ announced the arrival of Hermione, Ron and Ginny who had Apparated with Remus."

Do I need some sort of punctuation here to make it clear that Ginny Apparated with Remus? Or maybe I should reword it to be more specific:

"Three more ‘pops’ announced the arrival of Hermione, Ron and, last of all, Ginny who had Apparated with Remus."

What do you guys think?




I understood what you meant the first time I read the passage, but at the same time there's no harm in making it clearer. I vote for option #2.

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Siobhan
Chief Healer

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Posted - 08/25/2006 :  16:34:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I agree with Bee. I understood it when I read it, but I can easily see the confusion.

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Eeyore
Barmy

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Posted - 08/27/2006 :  10:46:38  Show Profile  Send Eeyore a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Yes, I agree. I got it first time round, but rewording it to make it even more clear can't hurt.

Eeyore

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